FEAR

Running the urge through my head
The desire to experience this fear
But still fearing the fear
The fear of losing my mind
Going insane, losing control--
Losing my mind

Staring into the mirror, I see
I see creatures crawling from my pores
Squirming to free themselves from my grasp
My skin begins to crawl and tingle
The fear of my fear is apparent
Still desiring to experience the fear--
Wanting my rush

Shadows from the darkest depths
Growing, shrinking, expanding, I see
I see the evil in all, losing the good
Vibrant flowers growing before my eyes
Adapting to the situation, I am their predator,
They are my prey--
These roles suddenly change

I begin running from the entangling stems
The dark green shadows morphing around my soul
Grabbing and reaching to distort my mind
Exclaiming, “You're lost, you're lost”
I fear that this fear has become reality
I am lost, drenched in a cold sweat
Drip, drip, moisture engulfed
Leave!

Climbing the endless staircase into nothingness
Everything goes white
White, garbled, static
Nothing exists....do I exist?
Shadows approaching still
Dodging and becoming distorted, I enter
Enter the blanket of snow

The eye begins watching
Following my every move
I can't escape
Zoom, zoom, mechanical noise
The pupil is focused on me

The capsizing room
Compacted like an aluminum can....
Air leaving my body
Fear, claustrophobia

The metallic taste in my mouth brings me back
Back to reality, away from the distortion
Away from my fear
The fear is gone, where's my rush?
I fear that I want this fear back

It's a sick nature to want to indulge
To indulge in the very thing you fear
The fear that will always be there
And the fear that you only want to experience in a false-reality
It won't become real reality....will it?